Dai Igarashi – Beyond “Knowing” about CODA

Japanese movie, “Boku ga Ikiteiru, Futatsu no Sekai (Living in Two Worlds)” will be released in September 20, 2024.
The movie is based on an essay written by Dai Igarashi about his own life.
A young Coda man whose parents are deaf,
what was he suffering from, what was he dealing with, and what did he discover?
And what is Igarashi thinking now as he travels back and forth between the two worlds?

Emotions that cannot be imagined
made into a movie as it resonated with me.

―What did you think when you first heard about the movie?

Igarashi　The original story “30 Things I Thought About After Coming and Going from Deaf Parents to Hearing and Not-Hearing Worlds” was published in Feb. 2021, and about half a year later, I got the idea that it would be made into a movie. I was very surprised and of course very happy.
On the other hand, there were concerns that people with disabilities would be used as “materials to impress people”. I didn’t write it with that in mind, but I think that when people who don’t know Coda (*) or deaf people read this book, they’ll simply be moved by some parts of it. If it were filmed as a “beautiful story” about overcoming various hardships, and only that part was shown in close-up, it wouldn’t convey what I really wanted to convey… To be honest, I didn’t want it to become one of the “I feel sorry for people with disabilities who have to struggle, but it’s so beautiful and moving to see them try their best to overcome hurdles”.

*Coda：“Children of Deaf Adults” refer to hearing children who were raised by one or more deaf or hard of hearing parents. It is known by the acronym CODA

―How did you go from that anxiety to realization?

Igarashi　Movie producers, directors, and screenwriters wanted to meet with me. So, we actually met and talked. They listened intently to me for about three hours, not only about the book, but also about what I was thinking about, about Coda, and how I felt having a deaf parent. I felt that their attitude were very sincere.
Also, I found out that the director, Mipo O, and the scriptwriter, Takehiko Minato, also have minority characteristics. So it’s not a simple matter of understanding each other, but each of them had minority characteristics, and there was something about them that I could resonate with. I thought there is no need to worry if the two people leading the work have experienced some kind of pain, and asked them to create the movie.

―Was the fact that they had a “minority characteristics” a big factor in dispelling your anxiety?

Igarashi　It’s not that it’s bad just because you’re in the majority. In the first place, I believe that people have both majority and minority characteristics, so it does not fit all. Although, for example, if the director was someone who was born in Japan, is from Tokyo, has no family members with disabilities, is male, can speak Japanese, and has no financial problems, and holds all the cards of the majority, there may have been some confusion. Still, I think you can imagine how minorities feel, and there are actually people who are part of the majority but are producing a lot of great works. However, director, Mipo O, and the scriptwriter, Takehiko Minato personally feel that pain and loneliness. On top of that, I found it reassuring to know from first-hand experience that “even though I’m a minority, there are moments of happiness.”

―In the book, it said, “I was relieved to learn that there was a name called Coda.”, but I couldn’t imagine feeling so alone that I felt relieved when my existence had a name.

Igarashi　The fact that I was given the name “Coda” is truly connected to peace of mind. When I didn’t know the word Coda, I thought I was really alone. I wonder if there’s only one person in the world in a situation like me. That’s why I gave up, thinking that I couldn’t share my feelings with anyone, and that no one would understand. However, the existence of a name means that there are “friends” in the same situation. And I can share experiences with my friends, and since we have the same prerequisites, we can understand each other without having to explain much. This gave me peace of mind.
I don’t know if director, Mipo O, and the scriptwriter, Takehiko Minato had a similar experience like me. However, they understand firsthand what it means to live as part of a minority group in Japanese society, so I thought it probably wouldn’t deviate from my thoughts…

 

How we rely on sound to live

―What impressions did you have after watching a movie that was made through this process?

Igarashi　As a general audience, I was impressed by the film, which felt like it captured the daily life of a family in a rural area in a natural way. I also felt that it was made with great care.
This movie doesn’t use background music. As background music doesn’t reach people who can’t hear, so if you use background music to arouse emotion, the messages you receive will differ between people who can’t hear and people who can hear. Therefore, in order to avoid creating that difference, we did not use any background music. I can’t hold my head up to the director who was so considerate.

―When I saw the sounds of everyday life in the subtitles, I also realized that there are many sounds.

Igarashi　People tend to think that subtitles are “just a matter of writing what the person is saying”, but that’s not the case. By making the sounds of everyday life visible, you can see how much we rely on them to live our lives like sounds that are common in everyday life, such as the sound of a kettle boiling water or a car driving by. Hearing people live their lives taking it for granted. I hope this movie becomes an opportunity for people to realize that there are people who cannot receive information from sound, and how much sound helps them in their lives.

―I heard that Ryo Yoshizawa’s casting was made possible through director, Mipo O.

Igarashi　I once visited the filming location and watched Ryo Yoshizawa perform a play. I felt like I understood the meaning of the director’s offer, and I was reminded of what a wonderful actor he was. He is well known and popular, and is good at acting. There is definitely something that can be delivered to a large number of people because of Ryo Yoshizawa.

―From your perspective, what did you think of the sign language of Ryo Yoshizawa?

Igarashi　I thought his sign language was very natural and great. My Coda’s friends who saw the preview all said, “Ryo Yoshizawa is good at sign language, and he looks like a Coda”. I also felt that. I can’t really explain the difference between the sign language of Codas and the sign language of others. It wasn’t just the sign language, but the eye contact and gestures… I got the feeling that there are Codas like this.

―His facial expressions and gestures conveyed the conflict and complex feelings he was having at the time.

Igarashi　It was a delicate expression of the painful feeling, or rather the conflict of feeling like you’re hitting on your parents even though you know it can’t be helped. I wrote the original story and read the script, so I know the content, but when it comes to visuals, it’s completely different. While watching the movie, I naturally cheered for Ryo Yoshizawa, the Coda, to do his best.

 

“To protect my parents”
That’s why I search for answers by myself every day

―Both the movie and the original book conveyed the “suffering of being born into a Coda”. Looking back now, what was the most difficult part?

Igarashi　Being judged by those around you as “poor people”. There are many happy moments living as a Coda. For me, it’s normal for my parents to be deaf, so that’s “normal”. However, it is not considered “normal” from society. For example, if you use sign language to talk to your parents outside, or if your parents use the so-called deaf voice, a unique vocalization that deaf people make, you will be stared at. It was painful to see the people around me stare at me thinking are you a disabled person. Back then, I felt like wherever I went, people looked at me as “poor” or “weird”. It was really painful because there were so many moments where I thought I shouldn’t be here. I’m an only child, so if I had siblings, I might have been able to share the pain with them, but I had only deaf parents and my grandparents, who could hear but couldn’t understand, so I couldn’t tell anyone and was left alone with my problems.

―I was also surprised that your grandparents had unique characters.

Igarashi　My family has too much individuality. When I wrote it on my profile, a writer I know asked me, “Is that a story setting?” When I answered that it was true, the writer said, “I shouldn’t say it, but I’m jealous”. I’m already laughing and accepting it by thinking that “my family is unique”.

―It seems like you had a strong sense that you “had to protect your mother” ever since you were a child. Was there any reason for you to think that way?

Igarashi　Although not all, the majority of Codas seem to have a common feeling of “wanting to protect their parents”. I had a particularly strong feeling. It’s because I love my mother, and I don’t want to see my beloved mother suffer or see her in trouble. So I try my best to translate to help, but sometimes I’m not very good at it…. I visited the city hall with my mother when I was a child. But since I was a child, I coudn’t understand difficult procedures, and translate properly. When that happens, I feel depressed and feel like I’m useless, and at the same time, I start thinking, “Why do I have to go through such pain?” I took my anger out to my mother that it was because my mother couldn’t hear, and if she could hear, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I don’t think it’s a good idea to take my anger out to my parent now, but at that time I had no choice. I had no choice but to do that, and I feel like I couldn’t live without it.

―That’s how much you were cornered, right?

Igarashi　If social media existed back then, things might have been different. Now I can connect with friends by searching “Coda”, and I can ask my senior Coda, “I come from this kind of upbringing, and I’m having a hard time at times like this, what should I do?” But there was no such thing at the time, so I couldn’t talk to anyone.
To talk more specifically, for example, when my parents come to the entrance ceremony, I don’t know what to do. My mother can’t hear directions, so I’m worried about whether she’ll be able to get to her seat properly, but since I’m attending the entrance ceremony, I cannot attend my parents. In various situations, I didn’t have a role model to show me what to do with a deaf parent, so I had to ask myself a lot of questions at a detailed level, but no one gave me the answer. It was really tough having to search for answers alone. Well, if I must say, I had a strong feeling that “Grandpa and Grandma should do it”. If I were a grandparent, I don’t think I would leave my grandchildren alone if they feel uneasy. However, having said that, this is the first time for my grandparents to be the parents of a deaf child, and it is also the first time for them to be Coda’s grandparents, I started to think that maybe they didn’t know how to support them either. I guess it couldn’t be helped since it was their first time.

―It must have been especially difficult for your grandparents’ generation to accept disability.

Igarashi　I think so. It was a time when people didn’t want to admit their disabilities and wanted to cure and overcome them. This was not the time to live with a disability. It can’t be helped, and I don’t think I can blame my grandparents for the current values.

 

Beyond “Knowing”
Awareness of unconscious discrimination

―What effect does writing a book have on you?

Igarashi　Writing a book helps me organize my emotions more and more. When I wrote the original story for the movie, I was reminded once again how much “I love my mother”. After that, when I wrote about my mother, “Kikoenai hahani kikini iku”, I felt that rather than just loving her, I really respected her as a person. She gave birth to a child at a time when there was a law called the Eugenic Protection Act (*) and there must have been a lot of bad things, but I think it’s amazing that she raised me up properly. I might not have been able to do it if I was in the same position… Moreover, my mother never complained at all. After knowing that, of course, the feeling of love is a prerequisite, but I also realized that she is a person I can respect as a human being. I felt that I wanted to be a person like her.

*Eugenic Protection Act：This law was passed in 1948 and was in effect until 1996, and its purpose was to “prevent the birth of defective offspring from a eugenic standpoint.” “Eugenics” means encouraging the birth of superior offspring along with preventing the birth of inferior offspring. This law allowed eugenic surgery (forced sterilization) and induced abortion for people with mental disorders, intellectual disabilities, neurological disorders, and physical disabilities that were considered to be hereditary based on the knowledge of eugenics and genetics at the time.

―When do you decide to write a book? Does writing change you?

Igarashi　When I write a book, the starting point is often the question, “Why is this happening?” When I write about my family, I start by thinking, “Why was it so painful?” “Why did I hate it so much?” When I sorted that out, I began to see things. Especially in the book that the movie is based on, I came to the conclusion at the end, “Don’t protect your mother, you should live with her”. It’s not something I prepared from the beginning, but something I realized while writing it at the end. Through writing, parts of myself that I couldn’t see and things that were unclear become clear.

―Are there any topics you would like to cover in the future?

Igarashi　I would like to cover people who are forced into “unreasonable pain” in society. I want to write about people who have been ignored by society until now, such as people with disabilities, people with incurable diseases, people born into poor families, and sexual minorities. And I hope that each person who reads it receives something from it. I don’t think that what I write will directly have a big effect on society, but I would be even happier if it served as an opportunity for something. I hope that from that point on, we will continue to connect, and in a few years, society will become more caring.

―I think one of the triggers is “knowing”, but what do you think about knowing?

Igarashi　“Knowing” is important. However, I want them to know through interviews. I’ve always said that it’s important to know, but I also don’t want people to be content with just knowing.

―Does that mean to go beyond by “knowing”?

Igarashi　Yes, to go beyond “knowing”. You don’t just read an article about people with disabilities on the internet news in the morning and end up knowing it, but it’s meaningless unless you understand and accept it properly. Speaking of deaf people, this society is voice-dominant. I appeared on the radio the other day, and let me just say that radio is a medium that leaves behind people who cannot hear. I was thinking about this while appearing on the radio. On the other hand, there are people who listen and appears on the radio who listen to it without thinking about it because they think it’s fun and good. Behind what you think, there are some people who cannot enjoy it. This means that society is unbalanced and there are people who are being trampled on without realizing it. Therefore, each one of us must become properly aware. It’s definitely painful to be aware of this, as I am too. Everyone, including me, discriminates against someone without realizing it. Because that’s how society is structured. That social structure is created by all of us. So we need to change that little by little. For that reason, we need to know it, acknowledge it, and go beyond.

―By taking small steps like this, we may end up with a society that is much easier to live in in a few years.

Igarashi　In fact, it is still changing little by little. Slopes are built in various places, and guidance is provided not only by voice but also by text, and vice versa. Don’t you think it’s simply convenient? Of course, it costs money, and changing the structure is difficult. But if we can help even one more person by making a change, then I would definitely want to make a change.

 

What you can see by going back and forth between two worlds

―In some cases, the information is recognized by being featured on TV or movies as an opportunity to “know”. On the other hand, there are some critical opinions, but what impressions do you have?

Igarashi　Recently, dramas with the theme of deaf people and sign language have become big hits. Although there were some dangerous expressions, I thought it was a meaningful drama in the end. However, I also know that there were critical opinions saying “Another drama that will make you cry like this?” In response to such voices, some people said, “It’s necessary to make people aware of it”. I understand this. Although, I don’t think the listeners or the majority should say this easily.
Looking back at the past, there have been many dramas starring with deaf people. In other words, there were many “opportunities to know”. However, the position of deaf people in society has not changed easily. In light of this, it is natural for those involved, such as deaf people, to feel, “Even though I have had many opportunities to know, nothing has changed” and “How long will we keep repeating the same thing?”. That’ s certainly true. The current situation is that every time, we end up saying, “There are people like this”.
Sign language was popular during the broadcast of the drama, and some people were actively posting videos using sign language on social media, but now you hardly see it. It has ended as a temporary boom.

―Behind the criticism was dissatisfaction with the lack of progress from “getting people to know”.

Igarashi　Coda has only recently begun to be talked about. After “Coda” which has been released in 2021 was a big hit, the mystery novel “Deaf voice” by Masaki Maruyama was made into a drama in 2023, and an original drama “Shizuka-chan and Papa” was made. Therefore, it can be said that Coda is still at the stage of making it widely known. On the other hand, there are very few people who don’t know about the existence of deaf people. In the case of deaf people, I think the stage of getting people to know about them is long over and they have to move on to the next stage. It is necessary to think about how to change society and what is missing with what we know. However, since that doesn’t happen easily, I think that every time the drama is aired, there will be criticism that it will happen again.

―We talked about social media, but there have also been cases where people uploaded something like a sign language song and caused a stir.

Igarashi　Sign language songs, in which sign language is added while singing, are essentially performances by people who can hear for hearing people, and there is no one involved who uses sign language as their language. Fans say they are moved by the performances posted by influencers who listen to them, but who are they doing it for? That’s what I think. Moreover, the sign language expressed there is often incorrect.
First of all, Japanese Sign Language and Japanese language have different grammar. Sign language is a language that is expressed not only by hand movements, but also by combining movements such as raising and lowering the eyebrows, squinting the eyes, puffing out the cheeks, and moving the neck and shoulders. Therefore, like in many sign language songs, if you only move your hands according to Japanese grammar, the meaning will not be understood by the person involved.
However, when hearing people who don’t know sign language see a popular sign language song, they mistakenly think, “This is sign language”. If this happens, there is a risk that sign language will continue to be misunderstood and continue to spread. That’s something I as a Coda would like to avoid as well. Parents who use sign language to survive may be forced into an even more difficult situation.
I feel that criticism of sign language songs is an earnest cry from those involved in the sign language, saying, “I don’t want people to spread the wrong sign language. I want them to understand it correctly”.

―What are the thoughts behind deaf people’s desire to “learn correct sign language”?

Igarashi　Sign language is a language that may become extinct, and in the past it was looked down upon as “imitating hands”. However, the people concerned have taken great care to protect it. Finally now, with the establishment of the Sign Language Law (*), sign language has become recognized. However, if the wrong information spreads, the efforts of those involved in preserving sign language will be wasted. Of course, not all sign language songs are bad, and some are performed by deaf people. In that case, the Japanese lyrics are not simply replaced with sign language words, but are translated according to the grammar of sign language, and the singer and the person using sign language express the lyrics together. It would be a wonderful thing if people who can hear and people who cannot hear work together to create expressions that clearly convey the thoughts of each person.

*Sign Language Law：Law aimed at disseminating sign language and improving the rights of sign language speakers. In 2012, the Japanese Federation of the Deaf (Sign Language Law Enactment Promotion Campaign Headquarters) released the “Japanese Sign Language Bill” and starting in fiscal 2013, local assemblies across the country began an initiative to submit “opinions requesting the enactment of a sign language law” to the national government. A written opinion was adopted by 1,741 assemblies of all prefectures and municipalities on March 3, 2016. This was the first time in constitutional history that a single project had a 100% adoption rate by local assemblies. As of July 22, 2024, ordinances have been enacted in 38 prefectures, 21 wards, 359 cities, 115 towns, and 7 villages, a total of 540 local governments.

―In your book, you mention the expression “living together”, but are you making any moves toward a future with your parents?

Igarashi　I don’t mind my parents coming to Tokyo at any time, and I’ve already told them that I’ll be prepared for them if they do. However, my father is now around 70 years old and old enough to retire, but he is still working. My father loves working and has been working at the same company ever since he graduated from school for the deaf. Making him quit his job could take away the meaning of life, so I thought it would be a good idea for me to respect my father’s feelings and return home from time to time while he was still healthy.
Parents who cannot hear in their old age are also a problem among Codas, and even if they move into a nursing home, there is no one who can speak sign language, making them feel isolated or unable to communicate with their caregivers. Some of my senior Codas used to live in Tokyo but returned to their hometown to care for their parents. The truth is that we have not yet found an answer to this problem.

―Parents’ old age is an issue for both deaf and hearing people. However, when you find yourself in that position, you tend to turn your attention away from it.

Igarashi　But whatever happens, happens. I feel like if I’m pushed into a corner I’ll definitely do something about it, so that’s the time. When I was a child, I didn’t have anyone to talk to, but luckily I have a lot of friends who are Codas now, so if I ever have a problem, I can ask them, “How can I find a nursing home where I can communicate in sign language?” “What should I do in this situation?” The sense of security that there is someone you can rely on is really great.
Sometimes I get together with people from Coda, and there are people there who say things like, “If you need anything, just let me know. I can only be an interpreter, but if something happens to your parents, I can help you”. It’s reassuring to have someone say those words to me, and it gives me a strong, warm feeling that it’s okay and that I have someone on my side.

 

Increasing interest in hosting the event in one’s own country
Driving force to build a caring society

―Tokyo 2025 Deaflympics will be held in Tokyo next year, but are there any athletes you support or sports you pay attention to?

Igarashi　It is Mio Nakata, a deaf volleyball player who I met at an event the other day. I was able to actually talk to her and feel her passion for the tournament, so I am very supportive of her. In competitions, especially team sports where players compete in groups, I am concerned about how to communicate during the competition. In a fast-paced game, what would a deaf person do for the part that can be done by shouting if you are a hearing person? There are many interesting points, such as whether they communicate using one-handed sign language or whether they have their own unique signs.

―What are your expectations for the Deaflympics being held in Tokyo?

Igarashi　I don’t usually have much interest in sports, but I occasionally watched the Tokyo 2020 Olympics on TV. After all, it’s always interesting when it’s held in your own country. I’m sure there are many people like that. Therefore, even people who have not been interested in the Deaflympics, which have been held overseas, will probably pay attention if it is held in Tokyo. I would be happy if people could pay attention to sign language and deaf people through the Deaflympics.
Also, the Deaflympics allow athletes to prove that they “can do things even if they can’t hear”. Therefore, I also hope that discrimination against deaf people will disappear. Also, I think it will become more visible that there are more deaf people than we realize, so by becoming more aware of this and becoming more concerned about those around us, we can build a more caring society. As a Coda, I hope that the Deaflympics will be the catalyst for that.

Dai Igarashi / Born in Miyagi
Writer

Born in 1983. Born and raised as a Coda with deaf parents.
He debuted as an essayist in 2020 with “Shikujiri Kazoku” and as a novelist in 2022 with “Efira wa Oyogi Dasenai”. “Kikoenai hahani kikini iku” was nominated for the 1st Ikiru Book Award. A live-action movie based on the book “30 Things I Thought About After Coming and Going from Deaf Parents to Hearing and Not-Hearing Worlds” is scheduled to be released in September 20 2024. （later retitled as “Boku ga Ikiteiru, Futatsu no Sekai (Living in Two Worlds)”and published as paperback）. His latest book is “The world I see as a Coda”.

X：@daigarashi
Instagram：daigarashi

＜Movie “Living in Two Worlds”＞
Web：https://gaga.ne.jp/FutatsunoSekai/
X：@FutatsunoSekai_

text by Rieko Kimura
photographs by Uta Mukuo